I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
