She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i barfeds in our rink
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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