i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
