but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
