so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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