I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
