so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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