he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
