Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
