On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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