I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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