chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
