Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I think i got beer on your cat.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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