I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
