i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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