ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
