She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I AM VODKA MAN
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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