So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
