Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
