Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize