do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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