Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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