Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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