I like my sex mixed with concussions.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize