Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
