yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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