We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize