I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She's the barista slut.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
