Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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