Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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