I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
