Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
