Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
