bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
