Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
