Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
