He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize