So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize