He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize