You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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