i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
