butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Shame - the story of my life.
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