how can u be prego again
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
