Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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