Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The uberlube is also flammable
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
