I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
