its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
