WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
