How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
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