Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
