I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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