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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting a business if you want to get involved

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh boy

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings

  Fav 21 3313 817

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"

  Fav 12 923 3309

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.

  Fav 19 7264 1772

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Quite the contrary. Sophistication.

  Fav 24 7975 1607

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• (979): View more from Texas

  his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.

  Fav 15 4406 1464

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.

  Fav 10 2508 915

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• (858): View more from California

  I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake

  Fav 9 1353 981

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.

  Fav 6 1271 840

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.

  Fav 4 704 1324

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• (904): View more from Florida

  i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again

  Fav 2 592 1032

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.

  Fav 2 517 754

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.

  Fav 0 898 456

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• (585): View more from New York

  There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on

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• (716): View more from New York

  He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.

  Fav 2 72 17

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• (917): View more from New York City

  He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"

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