You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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