i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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