we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
