Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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