Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize