im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
