forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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