i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
