Pappa wants mamma naked
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
